Showing Us What's Real

I could get into a lot of trouble for this with friends and family, but that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.

Since I bought my new/used laptop last month, I try to spend more of my evening computer time using it while sitting in the living room. It helps me not cut myself off from family time while getting done the things that I need to get done (as well as my “vegg-out time” on Facebook, or playing games, etc.). Inevitably, this keeps me sitting in the living room long after Sharon has fallen asleep but the TV is still on and all too often, the show that comes on is “The Bachelor”.

I know – I should get up off my lazy behind and turn the TV off, but once I’m sitting and doing my thing on the computer (like this very moment; for example), I simply can’t be bothered with such tasks. So “The Bachelor” keeps playing in the background.

Most of you probably at least know this show, if not actually watch it. A flock of very young, very attractive women compete against one another to win the undying love and affection, and of course, Wedding Ring, from a young, eligible bachelor who just happens to have the very rare and fortunate combination of being more ridiculously wealthy than any one guy deserves to be plus looking like he just finished a photo shoot for GQ magazine.

As a general rule, I am offended by the existence of these so-called “reality shows” (although I admit that I did enjoy the one season of “The Biggest Loser” that aired in Israel, but that was different). I hate the hype of these shows; I hate the premise of these shows. Basically (in case you haven’t figured it out yet) I pretty much hate everything about these shows.

But “The Bachelor” especially bothers me.

While I’m sitting at the computer doing whatever it is that I feel I need to do, I get to hear a lot of the interviews on this show. The women keep talking about how “they really are falling in love with” the Bachelor who, at the end of each episode decides which ones are worthy to continue vying for his money – OOOOPS! I mean – his love and affection.

I would love to meet each of these woman – one at a time, look them each deeply in the eyes, gently put my hands on the shoulders, and the shake the stuffing out of them while asking “What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid bitch???”

I mean – seriously! You’ve been cooped with other Playmate dropouts waiting for your chance to have a date with this guy, you finally get that one date – a nice quiet romantic whatever-the-hell you did, complete with cameramen, soundmen, director, best boy, dolly grip and whoever else, then you talk about it as if this was the “real thing”??? You really connected with him so well that you’re ready to throw all caution to the wind and marry him if he’s only smart enough and perceptive enough to pop the question to you?

Tell me the truth, you silly woman – if he wasn’t as rich as a medium-sized country, or if he looked more like a John Q. Public – would that date have still been as “magical”? Would the spark be there and would you really be able to envision marrying this guy. Would he really be the one that, as Rita Rudner quipped “you can picture your kids spending their weekends with”?

The only thing that puzzles me more than the ludicrous nature of these shows and of the people appearing in them is their popularity among the general public. Shows like “The Bachelor” (that’s only one example – there are a plethora of others equally annoying) are being made, re-made, copied, in countries all around the world. The American versions are also carried and watched throughout the world. And people really get into them!

Fans honestly discuss – on Facebook, or over lunch, or wherever – who they think will be or should be voted off of these shows. They dissect the pros and cons of each “contestant” and analyze who they think is the “right” person to be chosen.

I especially don’t get how these shows are being passed off as “reality” when I don’t believe that in any way, shape or form they reflect real life. And why are people so into them?

Is real life so drab and colorless that we need shows like these in order to live vicariously through the lives of people that, in all honesty, have little if anything in common with us?

If these shows were marketed as dramas (or perhaps comedies would be more appropriate) then I would probably be less irritated by them, and unquestionably less offended.

If they were marketed as “entertainment” rather than “reality”, then it would be easier for me to say “Feh!” and ignore them.

Then it would be easier to be amused – by how silly the shows are and by how people are so enthralled by them. It would be similar to teasing those who “can’t live” without their soap operas, and similar to the way friends (and my wife) used to tease me for enjoying professional wrestling.

Or maybe all of the people that watch and enjoy these shows have it right and I’m the one missing something.

Perhaps what really bothers me about these shows is that I’ve become so jaded that I can’t even pretend that they do represent some kind of “reality“ that I could imagine myself ever living.

If that’s the case, maybe I should go back to watching professional wrestling…?