Sharon is away for a day and a half. Her company has an office in the northernmost part of Israel, and occasionally – like today – she has a full day of meetings and work there. So last night she got a company car an drove to her sister’s house in the north in order to make this morning’s trip about 1 ½ - 2 hours long instead about an hour longer than that.
{Ironically amusing side note: She ended up not really saving the time, because this morning she had to pick up a colleague from Caesarea to bring to the northern office, which meant driving about 30 minutes south before going back to the north, so the hour she put into that would have been the same as if she had started from home this morning. Oh well – she did get to see her sister, nieces and nephews – albeit briefly – and do a very nice thing for a co-worker}
Anyway, her being away like that is not the end of the world, and I like to think that I am an involved-enough father that taking care of the girls on my own isn’t a big deal. And the truth is that with us both working full-time and needing to find the right balance in allowing each other the chance to meet our hours requirements at work, that there are plenty of evenings that one of us works later while the other one is “on solo duty” with the kids, and plenty of mornings that one of us goes in early and the other one is in charge of the morning up-and-out routine.
So, doing the “temporary single dad” thing is nothing new to me. Like with all parenting (and everything else, for that matter) sometimes it goes more smoothly, and sometimes less so – no different than when Sharon and I are both on the scene.
Last night and this morning, though, were absolutely amazing!
First, Revital (our almost-9 year old) went from school to a friend’s house. Actually the friend whose house it is was away, but her mother, who is here visiting did us a wonderful favor by letting her come over, and then picked up Limor (our almost-6 year old) a little while later. When she brought her own granddaughter to her afternoon activity at 5:00, she then dropped off our girls at the house, about 10 minutes before I got home. I was in touch with Revital on the phone and made sure that she got her backpack ready for today and had her sneakers on for her tennis class at 6:00.
I got home, gave the girls a quick snack, then we brought Revital to tennis. Then Limor and I went to the shopping center, bought pizza for both of them and went back to wait for Revital’s tennis lesson to end. While we waited, Limor started eating her pizza and we had some quality relating time while we waited for Revital.
Revital finished whacking that poor ball around, then we got home right at 7:00 and both girls finished eating (actually that's also when Revital started eating). I let them eat and watch a little bit of TV, then they got their pajamas on, brushed teeth and did the Sh’ma for me (the night time prayer right before bed – I absolutely love hearing them each do that prayer!).
Revital got into bed a few minutes before 8, with the deal that she would read her English book for her book report at school for a while, then I would allow her time to read in Hebrew (she reads very nicely in English, but it’s often a struggle getting her to do it. She is a bookworm like me, but for her the relaxation of reading comes from reading in Hebrew, so I was pleased with the deal we struck last night).
When Revital got into bed, Limor picked out a book for me to read to her, and we had a great time doing that – then by 8:10, while Revital was quietly, calmly and happily reading on the top bunk, Limor went to bed on the bottom bunk and was fast asleep within about 10 minutes.
I let Revital read until about 9 (even if we turn out the lights earlier, she is almost never asleep before then anyway, so we figure that if she’s going to fall asleep after 9 no matter what, then better the time before she falls asleep be a calm time when she’s in a good place psychologically and emotionally). After about 25 minutes of her reading in English, I told her that she could switch to Hebrew. At 9:00 I told her that it was time to stop and with no arguing she gave me the book, a good night kiss and was asleep by 9:15.
At about midnight, I heard something in the living room (while I was in the computer room), so I came out and there was Limor asleep on the couch. She couldn’t have been there more than a minute or so. Apparently the need for peepee made her body get out of bed, but didn’t actually wake her up, so her body just came into the living room and continued sleeping there. Fortunately she was still dry, and I was able to get her onto the toilet, then back to bed.
A couple of hours later, when I was asleep, Limor woke up again. This time she knew to go to the bathroom herself, and when she finished, she brought her pillow into my room, climbed into my bed, put her arm around me and fell back asleep.
Can you say “Absolute Heaven”…?
This morning was a continuation of last night – I managed to get up early enough (without waking the sleeping angel in my bed) and finish getting all of the dishes done, the laundry put away, the load that washed overnight hung up, and showered and did my morning prayers before I had to wake up the girls.
They both woke up in good moods, didn’t take as long as they are occasionally wont to take in getting dressed, eating, brushing hair and teeth, and we got out of the house in time to get Revital to her bus stop for school, and for me and Limor to get on the bus to her gan (kindergarten), all early enough for me to catch the 8:03 train to Tel Aviv (and have time to get my coffee on the way to the train station!)
When I spoke to Revital after school this afternoon, when she was on her way to her afternoon care, it was clear that she continued having a good day throughout and sounded to be in a good place still.
They both have wonderful afternoon caretakers, and the sitter that we have to pick them up this afternoon and get them home is a fantastic young woman (the daughter of very close friends that are part of the long-term friends I mentioned a couple of blogs ago), so it seems very likely that the rest of the afternoon will continue to be a good one for them.
Sharon will be getting home pretty late tonight from the north – very possibly after the girls have gone to bed, so I am hoping that we can keep the tone that we’ve managed to set over the past couple of days.
Days like these are what I live for. They give me a hope that balances out the more difficult days – when either the kids aren’t able to get themselves settled in, or when I’m not in a good place with the necessary patience to go with the flow of things.
My hope and my prayer is that when the girls are older and they look back on their childhood, that these are the days that stand out in their memories. That they remember the love, the comfort, the laughter and the hugs of days like yesterday and today.
I know that’s what I’ll be aiming to remember.
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