Blowing the whistle in Rock and Roll

Anybody who knows me even a little bit knows that I am a huge fan of Blues and Classic Rock.

And if you've visited my home – or spent more than – oh I dunno, say 10 minutes talking to me in real life (as opposed to all conversations being relegated to internet chat/IM) then you know that I have a pretty respectable music collection at home (and on my iPod) – close to 1800 albums between discs and (showing my age here) cassettes.

And if you've ever discussed music with me a little more in depth then you know that that of all the music I have, I listen to and I love, if I was forced to pick a single absolute favorite artist, it would probably be The Who.

So, this morning, the music that I chose to accompany me and put me in a good mood during my train ride to work was Another Scoop, an absolutely wonderful solo album by Pete Townshend, the very highly regarded guitarist and song writer for The Who.

This is one of 4 albums that Pete has which were compilations of his own private demo recordings throughout the years in his private studio – and his musical genius really shines through (at least to my mind).

One of my favorite songs on this album is Football Fugue, and a couple of things really stand out about it.

First of all – the music alone really grabs me. Hard to explain, but I just love the tune.

Even better than the tune, is the lyrics. Most classic rock aficionados acknowledge Pete Townshend as one of the premier lyricists of the generation (talkin' about his (My) Generation).

But beyond his normally insightful, poetic, beautiful song writing magic, this song is also hysterically funny.

He's drawing a comparison to watching an orchestra perform and watching a football game (he's British, so for the Yanks here read: soccer). It is extremely clever and a lot of fun.

With this song on my brain (and subsequently over and over again on my iPod) for so much of the day, I decided this evening to look up the lyrics online because there are some that I'm sure I'm not quite getting.

Here are the lyrics as I found them online. Read along as you listen to the song, then tell me if I'm going crazy or did every single website that I found with the lyrics have absolutely no idea what this song is about? I've numbered the lines to make the discussion a little bit easier.

Listen here…


Football Fugue
(Pete Townshend and Ted Astley, Tower Tunes, BMI)

1. I was listen to a guitar, bass drum thing
2. Started hearing chest screech, thought I had a gut strength
3. Then I saw a big band, right on the pavement
4. Violins and heavy boots, wondering where the wave went

5. You! What? I'm talking to you, Your wearing the wrong colored scarf
6. So what? Well you're playing your tune, to the Tarrence enemy Hauf
7. Hey you! What? I'm talking to you, Concentrate on the game
8. What for? Well the whistle just blew, the conductors going to complain
9. Play the song, on the wall, come on pass me the ball

10. Don't let the violinist trouble your playing
11. Fierce looking people, but their managers gay
12. Syncopation to the sound of the ball
13. Trouble with the ref on in the concert hall

14. Hey you! What? That cellist was found, that conductor must be blind
15. It's a girl! Whew! Oh look at the crowd, This session's run to extra time
16. Sit back, face off the senior, doesn't walk alone

17. Music has arrived at the football stadium
18. A logical step would be spears at the Palladium
19. Fifty thousand watts screaming out for a goal
20. Why don't they blow a whistle in rock and roll

21. Hey you! What? Get back to your seat. The song has only just begun
22. So what? We need two encores to beat, and the band is faced to run
23. Hey you! What? Get down off of the wire, the spirit of the game's still strong
24. Say's who? Well I'll never talk, kicking my piano along
25. All you fans of the score, if you give a show of support, will….win

First of all, even with the lyrics in front of me there are a couple of lines that I'm still not sure of (specifically Lines #2 and .#6 – if anyone can decipher those for me I would be grateful).

Now, I understand, accept and respect that very often, lyrics found online are not the "official" lyrics released by the songwriter or the record company, but rather transcribed by a fan/listener, and prone to the occasional human error. That's fine with me. I know that I also often mis-hear and mis-represent song lyrics.

But what made this something that I felt the need to Ramble about was really two things here.

The first is the sheer quantity of lyrics that seem to be wrong – sometimes grotesquely so. We're not talking about one or two mistakes here – we're talking almost every other line! And some of these mistakes are more blatant than the foul on the football field!

The second thing that I just don't get is why these same poorly transcribed lyrics are on every single lyrics site that I saw!

In all fairness there may well be several sites with better versions of the lyrics – but I stopped looking after the first 9 or 10 that I checked all had pretty much the same.

Does nobody care about quality control in rock and roll anymore????

As I already said – I have no idea what Line #2 says but I'm pretty sure that it's not what's written above. Same goes for Line #6.

Line #10 is a pretty simple mis-hearing. It should be "Don't let the violinists trouble your play". Not one of the big deals, but still, let's get things right.

Lines #14 and #15 are two of the primary lines that make me wonder if the person (or people) transcribing this had any clue what the song was about.

I mean come on!!! The cellist was found??? FOUND??? If it's a football game, and the very next thing he says is "the conductor must be blind" Isn't it pretty obvious that the line should read "That cellist was fouled?

The next line – It's a girl??? What happened – the guy went to a football game / concert and a birth broke out??? IT'S A GOAL! (Hullo McFly!!) This also explains the next line "this session's run to extra time".

Line #16 is another one that I can't decipher, but I'm pretty sure it starts "Sit back or piss off" and says absolutely nothing about seniors walking alone.

I have a feeling that "spears" in Line # 18 is supposed to be Spurs (the name of a British football team), but I could be wrong about that one.

Line # 22 also made me laugh out loud here – "We need two encores to beat (IMHO that line is Townshend at his brilliant best!), and the band is faced to run? Do any of you have a clue what that means??

Me neither, but I bet if you read the line the way it sounded to me – "We need two encores to beat, and the band needs space to run" then it would make a lot more sense, no...?

Line #24 – I'd be pretty willing to bet that he says "I'll never tire of kicking my piano along" which is more in line with the whole football analogy and sounds much better (and smarter) than "I'll never talk, kicking my piano around".

And of course, if the person/people responsible for the transcribing here already had so many wonderfully entertaining errors, it would be a shame to not finish out the song with a bang – so they have two mistakes in the song's final line! I've never heard of "fans of the score", but it just might be that Pete was singing "fans of the sport".

And finally – fans of the sport (or score) if you show the support, then you will win? I don't think so...

The line should read " if you give a show of support we'll win" – as in, fans in most sports tend to use the first person plural when describing their teams' success – as though they get part of the credit. And this line in the song is meant to be a jab at the idea that fans showing enough support for their team can affect the outcome of the game.

I honestly don't get how it is that I can hear and understand so many lines in the song one way, and a dozen websites all see those same lyrics differently. And nobody who has used these sites has noticed that there is something (actually several somethings) that makes no sense.

As ridiculous as it is, it still doesn't take away from the beauty of the song and the brilliance of the writing. But I'd still love your help in figuring out the lines that I don't get.

Anyone, anyone.....?