Considering the Source

I would love to be famous someday. It really doesn't matter what I'd be famous for, I would just need to be famous.

Why, you ask, do I want to famous?

It's not to be rich. I don't really need or want the headaches and pressures that go with that (although being out of overdraft occasionally might be nice …)

It's also not to be recognized whenever I walk down the street. Truth be told – I would absolutely hate the lifetime loss of privacy.

No. The reason that I would love to be famous is because being famous somehow magically transforms ordinary schmoes into experts – on everything. If you're famous, your opinion matters. Period.

Need a little proof? Look at Steven Slater. Remember him?

Quick memory refresher:

Steven Slater was the flight attendant on JetBlue that flipped out because a passenger was rude to him and accidentally bopped him on the head with her luggage.

So good old Steve – with his 20 years (!!) of experience as a flight attendant, reacted the way any of us would react. He cursed the woman out over the plane's intercom system, deployed the emergency evacuation slide (extremely dangerous and extremely lucky that there didn't happen to be any ground crew members near the plane at the time), grabbed a few beers (brilliant move – he describes himself as a "recovering alcoholic" – although he also admitted that he had "a sip or two" on the day in question) and made his escape into the sunset.

Slater actually got off much easier than he deserved. For all of his drinking, and endangering of people's lives, the final "price" that he paid was a sweet deal in which he pleaded guilty to second-degree attempted criminal mischief (felony), and fourth-degree attempted criminal mischief (misdemeanor).

For agreeing to plead guilty (which was a no-brainer considering there was no question of his guilt from the beginning), he has to enter a one-year mental health program, including treatment for substance abuse, take certain medications, and pay all of $10,000 in fine to JetBlue for the cost of repairing or replacing the chute.

Not bad, huh? While $10K may seem a bit much steep for a guy who earned less than that last year, on the bright side – Slater recently appeared in an ad for a mobile communication application doing a rap, he was published in the New York Post this week offering (what else?) travel tips for Thanksgiving travelers, and he has signed with a book agency to write a book about his 20 years of experience as a flight attendant.

And I have no doubt this book will sell very well. Not because Steven Slater is a wonderful writer (he may well be, but that's irrelevant). Not even because his vast experience on the job makes him uniquely qualified to share with the general public (in hardback form) the trials and tribulations of such a thankless job.

No – this book will sell, because Steven Slater is famous. No other reason. Never mind that the reason he's famous is that he lost his cool and was an enormous horse's ass. He's famous, so people give a damn what he has to say, and that means that we don't have to lose too much sleep over the $10,000 Steve Slater will have to pay. I'm sure he'll manage just fine.

What I love about this is that it means that to be famous, I don't need any special skills or talents. I don't need to have something special or positive to offer the world which they couldn't find anywhere else. I just have to do something. Anything.

Seriously – how cool would that be? I could become famous for – I dunno – streaking on the field at Half Time of the Super Bowl (don't worry - I'm really not planning on doing it). I would be arrested, and there would articles about me in newspapers around the world, there would talk shows, interviews, possibly even a book deal – and as soon as I have the world giving even a little bit of credence to whatever it is that I have to say, I could talk about politics, or peace in the Middle East, and I can guarantee you, I would be quoted for my views.

"Asher Zeiger believes that President Obama should…." And why would people be interested in my point of view? Because I'm the guy that went streaking across the 50-year line during the halftime show at the Super Bowl!

What more expert qualifications could I possibly need?

This is nothing new – we've seen for years the "authority" which we bestow upon actors, singers, writers, athletes on political questions (and that they all too often bestow upon themselves as well).

Don't get me wrong – I am all for stars putting their celebrity to good use by raising awareness for causes. But that's very different than using the platform awarded them for their artistic success as a soapbox to preach and teach morality and geopolitics to us.

I will admit that I have a personal sensitivity to this issue. Israel and the peace process are always very fertile ground for artists to take their stands, and this year alone, several high profile rock-n-rollers have cancelled scheduled performances in Israel, ostensibly to express their disapproval of our handling of the situation with the Palestinians. As the situation here has been pretty much the same for several years, I have no idea why these artists agreed to visit Israel in the first place, only to cancel as the tour dates grew near. Better to simply not come, don't sell tickets and don't get fans' hopes up. But that's a topic for another (very long) blog.

On November 24, the Jerusalem Post ran a story by the European Jewish Press reporting that "100 famous Norwegians" have called for a complete academic and cultural boycott of Israel.

Let's start by saying that I am assuming these 100 Norwegians are famous in Norway, but not too far beyond their borders.

The group was led by Egil Drillo Olsen, Norway's national football coach. He was quoted as saying the boycott is "in line with what 90% of the world's population believes".

Really, Mr. Olsen? 90%? Is that based on a scientific survey or is it just your expert opinion based on the vast geo-political experience you have gained as a football coach?

Now, if the survey was conducted in Middle Eastern countries with names that do not rhyme with Bisrael, then 90% is probably an accurate representation of the world's views on academic and cultural boycotts of Israel. But the rest of world? I'm a little dubious of your statistics.

Of course, the real irony is that in Israel (as in most of the world), the majority of academic and cultural figures lean politically a bit left-of-center. So boycotts like this are primarily targeting the figures who agree with the political stance (although not with the methods), so a boycott of this nature is, if anything, counterproductive.

But that doesn't matter. Why? Because in Norway, Egil Drillo Olsen is famous, so it really matters what he says about issues which are completely unrelated to his area of expertise (namely: football/soccer).

Because with fame comes a tacit understanding from the general public that you know what you're talking about (Kanye West notwithstanding).

I've never been a musical fan of Ozzy Osbourne – not when he was the frontman for Black Sabbath, and not as a solo artist. I was also never interested in his reality show either.

Nevertheless, I absolutely loved that he performed in Israel a couple of months ago. Granted – he's not the only one who has amidst all of the boycotts. Paul McCartney was recently here, as was Joe Cocker, Jethro Tull, and others. But what I loved about Ozzy is that he specifically said that he refuses to talk politics because he's a singer – and therefore doesn't know anything about politics. He also had some very choice (adult-content) words for those people who throw art and music into the political arena.

What a concept – a singer, who says that he's a singer, and therefore not in a place to preach about things that he may not understand so well. A singer who uses his stage and microphone for – hold on to your seats here - singing. Who ever heard of such a thing?

For my part, I would love to get people to understand that being famous does not automatically mean that a person has anything interesting or worthwhile to say. And if they actually do – it's not necessarily connected to their fame.

How's this for a mind-boggling conundrum? It seems that I need to become famous so that people will listen to me say that they shouldn't automatically give credence to the opinions of famous people.

I'm not sure how I'll do it, but just in case, you should think about skipping the Half Time show at this year's Super Bowl…